How to increase your confidence: An Introvert’s guide

How to increase your confidence

Money, sex or power? If any of these could increase your confidence or compensate for a lack of it, which would it be for you? Do not answer!

Know anyone that tells really dumb lies, compare themselves with others, or always need external validation to feel good about themselves? These are regular signs of a lack of confidence in oneself.

When people feel less of themselves there is usually the tendency to overcompensate. But this only creates more feelings of emptiness.

What is Confidence?

According to Wikipedia confidence comes from the Latin word fidere which means to trust. So it goes that, the more you trust in what you can do, the better your confidence.

Confidence is a state of mind. It comes from belief in oneself and abilities, acceptance of oneself, and how we define the result of our experiences.

Shyness, social anxiety, introversion: What’s the confidence level?

If there was a spectrum for confidence, say from not confident to very confident, how confident are you that you are confident?

Introverts are often labeled as shy or socially awkward. But introversion, shyness and social anxiety are not at all the same thing.


A shy person is afraid of negative judgment from people. This commonly occurs in new situations or when with unfamiliar people.

Social anxiety

Someone diagnosed with social anxiety has symptoms that may include excessive fear of situations where one may be judged, worry about embarrassing oneself or fear of humiliation.


A person that identifies as an introvert has a personality trait that is characterized by a preference for alone time, solitary experiences, minimal stimulation, and focus on internal feelings.

Why are you quiet or reserved?

From the three definitions above, we can deduce that a quiet or reserved person could be so, for any of the following reasons:

  • They enjoy being quiet or reserved: no fear of judgment, embarrassment or humiliation, etc.
  • Being quiet or reserved is an escape from momentary fear of judgment, embarrassment or humiliation, etc.
  • They are quiet or reserved as a result of excessive fear of judgment, embarrassment or humiliation, etc.

Introvert is not a synonym for shy. Any personality trait can be shy or socially awkward, and not all introverts are confident. Whichever way, confidence can be learned. No person is born confident. So let’s dive into the real deal.

How to increase your confidence: 7 tips

Keep in mind that confidence is a state of mind. Now, here are tips to help you boost your confidence.

Get informed

The more information you have about a thing you are venturing into for the first time, the better you will feel about it.

Groom yourself

Your general perception of your outward appearance has an effect on your confidence, so use it to your advantage. Be clean, smell good and dress presentably, etc.

Observe your self-talk

Sometimes, it is not even the insult from people or the lash out that gets to us, but the replica that we have told ourselves. You have to listen to the kind of things you say to yourself about yourself. Be aware of your self-talk—replace negative talks with positive ones.

Do your homework

You’ve got a presentation to make? An interview to attend? An exam to write? Prepare for it. There is unbeatable confidence that comes with deep preparation.

Read. Practice. Rehearse, do a mock—fail at it, iterate! Do your best. On the D-day, give it your best shot. Enjoy the success of your preparation, and if you do fail, enjoy the peace knowing you actually did your best.

Be sincere with yourself

If you have a limitation and you can do something about it, then do something about it. If it is a limitation you can do nothing about, then accept it, and move on.

Validate yourself

Build the habit of commending yourself without reservation. Place yourself on a pedestal where neither compliment nor criticism from people destabilizes you. Take all as feedback.

Set goals and achieve them

Start with setting small goals and achieving them. Growth motivates! The more you do this, the better you will be at it.

Also, when working on a large project, break them into bits and tackle them one after the other, so you don’t get overwhelmed.

Wrap up

Just like happiness, confidence is not a destination, but a journey. Improve yourself every day. The tips in this article are not all there is for how to increase your confidence. But they work!

If you enjoyed this article, you may also like Introvert workplace discrimination: How to stand out at work

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